Saturday, August 07, 2004

More opportunities means more pressure...

First up... i really had a lot of things to do and now another thing came up and i just have to add it up in my schedule.. i don't know why i can't seem to say "no" to anything... is it because im too kind? is it because i just don't waste any opportunity? or is it because i just don't know how to say no to people? anyway ... just this afternoon upon going back home from lasalle.. someone called me up ... introducing himself to me and telling me that ive been referred to him by a very old friend of my (old meaning long time no see kind of old) and to my surprise this guy started telling me good things he heard from me .. telling me that he heard that im a sort of goal oriented and persevering person etc etc.. anyways so here goes he ask if i'll be interested to work for him or something like that with a nice pay in a way and it would be a field far from what im taking up i don't know if it'll be a waste of time or what but we decided to meet on wednesday.. venue? as you may ask, it's in ortigas of course makati offices and i just have to ride two trains hope i could get a quick ride from there.. anyways .. so that's it i have a new opportunity opened for me .. what i feel sad about is.. how i wish im already a graduate so as to commit to something like that but nope i still have 5 terms to go and additional 3 terms if i am to pursue my masters.. next term i'll be taking my master courses and i just don't know how i am to survive if this thing goes on ..


Ow.. i still have a lot of things to finish by this week .. test in comparc, paper in comparc, the presentation in advanse presentation in mobile wars.. meeting @ ortigas .. woah! it's really a big pressure.. i still can feel my headache .... rising up my brain.... can't seem to smile anymore ... o well i just hope i could finish everything and get pass through this week with a smile..

Know what? suddenly i needed God so much and i can't get through this week without His Help.. i guess this day will be one of my turning point in my religious life again..." Please help me Oh Lord.. i know i can get through this with you. Thank you ... "


I think i just have to work on everything one by one step by step i'll surely end this ocming week with ease.. please pray for me whoever is reading this.

Friday, August 06, 2004

Certainly, a change of plan wouldn't hurt

As this school year starts.. i had it on my mind and my plan that i will keep earning money even before i graduate.. earn in the sense that i'll take every sideline that comes in my way. and yes i did take all the opportunities .. hmm i can say not all almost all of it.. and yes i've been earning for quite sometime now and i think im enjoying the pay. But the thing is .. my grades are falling apart i don't think i'll be able to reach dean's list this term.. and even have one of my subject falling from the edge of passing. Anyway i hope i could still made it.. I can say i 've been very busy this past few months hmm maybe the whole term haha i have lots of responsibilities outside my academics, which helped me earn money. Although yah again my grades is not doing good.

The term is already quite finished... it's already less than 3 weeks before finals and i think i'm quite pressured as much as i was before,indeed, this term is not that easy though, im having a problem on chemistry and comparc. although the prof in comparc seems very considerate and seems quite fair i hope he gives an easy test next week.. arrgg.. another week had passed and it's already weekend.. i need to finish a lot of things this weekend.. JJ's thesis is quite over.. but still have to work on it within the coming week.. jairus ' gofish.ph can wait... thank God! Advanse program parser, advanse paper, presentation , mobile wars! yuhuu!! finally done with the project although some more changes need to be done for it to run in palm successfully.

O well so what about the change of plan (topic) im talking about? actually i don't want this kind of pressure anymore i want to be "happy go lucky" for the next term and just concentrate on moving my cgpa up a bit! i really want to spend my whole time in studying.. well one thing is, im pressured by the people in straight ms .. and the professors who had set a highstandards from our reputation as S22... guess i just have to maark my words not to take any side jobs or at least lessen it .... i just feel so tired.. in two weeks time there's already the finals.. chemistry and comparc really has a lot of coverage, i just wonder how i am gonna get throguh this i think if there's a time to start focusing on finals.. it's this weekend !

I guess i still have so many things to say... just too tired to think and type... hope i could have a sembreak before taking the finals haha :) life is full of challenges that's why we have to constantly change our plans every now and then ....sheesh ...

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Aiming high with lesser effort (?? you get it? i don't)

yah yah you might say im so idealistic as to reach something high without exerting much effort.. although the down fall is .. it doesn't really happen that much! yes i've been satisfying myself with mediocrity .. and i hate it.. just imagine theocom exam.. i only studied a day or two before the actual test... and yes i got satisfied with an 87 and i think that would be what the title here suggest, which is, i aimed and got quite a high grade with lesser effort but i have to admit that i was disappointed due to the fact that knowing someone got higher than i do and i could have reach a higher grade than 87 ...such a terrible feeling ..

you can see im not really in the mood to write just felt that i want to list what happened to me this day so as to help me reflect what i just did and had been doing. LSCS.. one thing i want to remind myself

" don't ever go to something you don't really like and if you did, then just shut up and do your job !"
i think this is one of my problem i kept mumbling on doing things that i really don't like and just that i went into it for the sake that i don't even know hahaha.. anyways i just took a chemistry exam yesterday i don't think it went good. coz it's multiple choice even though i know the problem .. heck! the answers to my solutions are not even in the choices most of the time!!! that was really bad.. i don't know why i have to take chem all over again .. such a dreaded subject for me!! hmm maybe i just need encouragement.. needed someone to tell me what to do and how to look at things at different angle! hehe
concerning responsibilities.. awwwww i don't know what's happening to me .. im too irresponsible that i didn't even contact my tutees and i just texted them one day before the test and guess what tomorrow's.. i just felt like quitting ..even if i have any people who looked up on me and i just kept feeling that im a big disappointment... my grades kept going unstable.. chemlab was quite ok .. chemone is quite bad.. going worst.. theocom still good... glad it's still above my standards .. and comparc.. no idea what my grades are.. too bad..i don't think i can still hang on my ideal cgpa .. just so hard to pull it upward.. even if i kept getting high grades the last few terms..hmmm as you can see im not organized with what im saying i just have these particles of thoughts floating around my brain. you can say this is not a really good day and well .. just felt dizzy ... feel like i'm going to get sick .. although i got enough sleep yesterday.
i guess if you don't understand what im saying here.. the point is!!! im not happy with my performance.. im not satisfied at all .. in my overall effort i don't know what's wrong with me i bet i just have to start somewhere else.... guess i have to start going to my classes early starting tomorrow.. maybe it'll be a good start..... a good start of rebuilding my concerns :)

Sunday, August 01, 2004

Happy days and memorable moments...

Yes yes... i did have a great day yesterday (july 31) we, (sherine,mike,rea,and me) went to banawe to eat at mini shabu shabu.. yes it was delicious although expensive.. anyway it was all for the sake of fun and food tripping.. actually i was kind of late for the meeting ( indeed late again as usual, im becoming a regular latecomer lately sheesh i have to change... have to change..). it was all because i have to go to school and have 3 chapters of chembook being photocopied and return it to plaridel office then take another lrt ride to 5th avenue which is the opposite end from where i live, luckily those guys enjoyed themselves while waiting :) then there goes, we went to banawe, then after eating lunch we rode all the way from quezon city i think araneta to the other end of araneta.. then to makati ortigas to robinson's galle to meralco theater to watch rahab (play).

Upon entering the building it was really welcoming the people was very cordial and really gave time in explaining what to fill up and where to file in line and what seats to take etc. A lot of ushers were helping out and yes we finally had our seats, the play took about 2- 1/2 hours and it was really nice until the end of the play, a pastor went up to preach, which kind of offended me coz i wasn't expecting anything like that.for me he was sort of force preaching people without even asking permission and that to me was kind of offensive and the way that he preach was ... not really normal..not normal in the way that he talk as if he was so holy he talked as if he was fully of spirit and that i think was too exaggerating.. yes that put down my mood although i know he was just doing that for the sake of evangelism but i don't know .. it would always be proper to make a preaching noncompulsory for everyone to listen .. instead he took the moment to preach at the time when everyone couldn't leave. o well it was kinda disturbing.. but anyways i understand what he was talking about and .. i was deeply touched by the play rather than the preaching...Anyways enough of that preacher.. i just thanked God for the message from the play, i learned a lot and had a refreshing moment in my outlook of God. so there goes, i took an mrt ride to taft and rode a jeep, guess what i saw a woman hanging on her purse as she was drag down the street by a man pulling or snatching her purse.. the woman was hysterical that someone came to the rescue luckily no one got hurt the snatcher just ran away. there nice day right? actually highlights of the day was the moments with sherine :) (int the car , in the theater ) it was really so nice to be wth her almost the whole day without even worrying other stuffs :)

As for today, it 's quite a productive day i finished programming a whole forum for jj's thesis and all that is left for me to do is to integrate and redesign the whole template then that's it... although im currently blogging while studying a 100 pluspages of chemistry book which will be part of the test tomorrow too bad.. those quizzes just don't cease.... i guess i have to stop blogging for now and start studying..

Hope i could finish at least two chapters of chemistry so i can have a more relax review tomorrow.